Breakouts, breakouts, breakouts!! EEK

I personally havnt had a breakout since about 9th grade! 4 years later my skin is like acne central. Back when I had really bad skin! But after it cleared up, like any other girl, Id only get a pimple here and there. Now thats not the case! I HATE IT! So Ive seen a dermitologist, who did get me a medication to help my face... doesnt seem to be working! Though she said to wait about 2-3 months, I want something that will help NOW! Ive googled and asked around a few things Ive heard...

1. Toothpaste before bed: Not working wonders for me
2. Tomato juice
3. Lemon or lime juice
4. Crushed asprin on the pimple
5. Tea bags.

None of these things seem worth trying to me! SO if you personally know something that helps, comment =)

Kardashian much?

Kendal Jenner. Does she not look JUST like her sisters? The Kardashians by far have like the BEST DNA ever haha.

Friends

My life has been a roller coaster ride for almost a year now. I have so many prblewms with my self and I always feel as if I have no one to help me when I'm down. Most of this feeling comes from not feeling understood! In the past few months I have had very few people hop on board with me, and help me through this funk. These two or three people have shown me that I would rather have two or three people who are there mostly only when I need them, than friends that are around constantly that never help when I need them. I many not hang out with these ladies all the time, or ever for that matter, but I can always count on them to answer a text or a phone call when I just want to talk too much, or complain! Or when I refuse to get out of the house they order in Olive Garden and movies JUST for me. It make me feel good, even when I have nothing to feel good about! So ladies, dont get caught up in years of your life stressing over these so called friends. Its not worth it. In the end, most of them may not be there, but the ones who are, hang on tight to them. Its rare that you make a friends for life!

Thank you:

Vicki
Alex
& Mariah!

You guys always know how to make me laugh, comfort me, and text me for hours helping me figure out what the next step is.
<3 you ladies!

Fiercely real!

Soo through out these last few months I have gaind a significant amount of weight! =( This is obviously something I'm not too excited about. Duh what girl would be, but I have decided to stop obsessing over it. Granted I don't like the way it feels, but if I'm going to work on it I dont want to be stressed out in the process. I cant let all the skinny bitches on the front of the magazines I read every day get to me, I cant let all the other girls in the industry I work in get to me. I have now decided, that as I'm working on getting my firgure back, I will also embrace what I am now. I have a Photo shoot set up at the end of the month, a PLUS SIZE shoot! EEEEK! As Tyra would say "Fiercely real" So all these other models... all the girls I helped get to where they are (wont name names but you know who you are) and all the people who look at me and dont see something beautiful... watch out! Because Im back... and I'm planning to KILL it =)

Stay beautiful.
No matter how much you weigh,
what you look like,
or what other people say.
Reach for your dreams...
do what you please
MAKE IT HAPPEN!

...I know I am <3

Im baaaack =)

I NEVER post new things on here, mostly because I dont have too many followers... but I'm working on it lol. I have recently been going through the unimaginable so blogging hasnt really been on the top of my list! BUT I have taken on a couple of new projects (that I will post more about later) and want to include the few followers I have and the new followers I will hopefully gain. So thank you to the people who do follow my thus far kinda boring blog! But I prmise I will keep you tuned in to these new fun things I will be doing!

Jelisa xoxo

This or that?

I havnt posted in awhile!!!

But I want to ask you guys something. (The few of you who do follow hehe, Tell your friends)
Recently the thought of an ex has been BOTHERING me, like bigg time! I have dreams about him and just talking about him makes my skin crawl. I tell not only myself but everyone around me that I have NO feelings for him, because I DONT! But why all the thoughts?? Does this mean there may be feelings lingering... that for the record I will NOT EVER act apon, or am I just really bothered by this guy. Hmm.
Opinions??

Love itt.

Family time...

Alice in Wonderland!

Ahh! Alice in Wonderland was the SHIT! This is my all time favorite Disney movie and Tim Burton did soo well on this somewhat sequel. My mom and I had been waiting months to see this so we went together last night. The theater was packed but it was soo worht it. I recomend that if you havnt seen it... you DO! SOON! Is it weird that I was fascinated with the outfits Alice was wearing through out the entire movie. I knda want to wear some of the things she had on hehe. Anywayss. The actors did such a great job, and even though the Red Queen is evil she was totally my favorite! She was a trip and I just loved her! I think I wanna see it again =))

Bla Bla Bla- so random!

Sooo. I think I'm back =D
I've been feeling pretty good lately, with the exception of a few things, but hey I'm not perfect! I've been on track with so much. I hate to talk about. To talk about how much better I'm doing. I think I will ginx it and shit will start to fall apart! =X But it feels good to be slowly getting back to ME!

I had the best date last night =) Cheese cake factory is goood lol. Pasta over candel lights!! ahh so cute! =) We got all dressed up and the waitress said "You guys are such a good looking couple" Sorry to say but i love to hear that =) I love him!

Me and my mom have always been so close. But recently we have been really really close! It makes me feel so good. I went out of town recently and I cried when I got on the bus to leave her lol.

School... im hangin in there =/

Moving is a pain but it is surprisingly relaxing. Being in an empty/new place the last couple days! It feels... good? lol

I just cant wait until this journey of mine moves along! I just want everything to be like the old days. So happy, calm, stress free, just... fun!

Heart to heart...

I am actually dissapointed that lately my blog post havnt been verry... well, positive. But I naturally feel like I need to write, or in this case... type SOMETHING to get things out of my mind and out, somewhere else. So in saying that... I will try my hardest to make more... enjoyable/happy post. But untill then... i will just rant =/

--- For weeks now I have felt frustrated with just about everything and anything around me. I havnt at all been happy with the way my life seems to be going, because I know that im better than this. But it takes so much to make me see that.

I talk to my mom about EVERYTHING! But I try to keep my insecurities and stress to myself when it comes to her, because I know it kills her to see me like this. This has gotten so bad that I NEDDED to talk to her! I HAD to. Naturally as a mother she tells me "Well you know it will get better in time, you know im not a weak person, and i know you are not a weak person. So some times we just have to pull it together... get things done." This isnt exactly what I was looking for, as far as a responce. =//

I naturally go straight to my cousin afterwards... She is THE closest person to me and i felt that ofcourse she would understand. We talked and talked but yet she could only tell me what anyother person would tell me. "Stick it out, because you know you gotta get it done and it will be fine." This didnt work for me either. Because at this point... my breaking point... Its NOT ok!! Its NOT going to be fine. At least right now... that how i feel. Things are that bad.

In search for something MORE than the common cookie cutter answer I feel im getting I got to my boyfriend. We have been at this thing for 3 years now and I feel as if he knows me well enough to talk to about anything! As I sit on the phone balling my eyes out he can honestly tell me "Babe, things are bad right now, they are NOT ok... and you can cry as much as you want to." But what he did make me realize is that, if i really want things to be ok I cant let my tears and my stress get the best of me.

I used to be able to tell myself this :(

I cant let other people bring me down, because at the end of the day, thats what people want to see. I hate to say it, but it happens. I have too much to let myself break down completely. I have to pick myself up and like my mom said... get it done. I thank god every night for blessing me with the opportunities that i have, that some others dont.

Im not at all saying that I wont cry anymore... and that im over this, because i wont... and im not. Im human! And what these people have helped me to see, is that as long as i get over it, and pick myself up eventually, i can do it how ever i want...


I think... that i think too much =/

Its personal...

Where have I gone. I have become someone unrecognizable to even myself. The confidant, loving, goofy, outgoing girl, remains no longer. But why? Why does she cry over anything, even things so small. Why has strength become sensitivity, and laughs into tears? The things that once rolled right off her shoulders, now remain as weight, like the world is one her shoulders. She despratly wants to break free, but constantly keeps others in mind. When can she live for her self. When will she be able to look into the mirror and see the beautiful she once saw? When will she no longer feel discusted with her body or way of living? Because she once thought that she was more than fine the way she was. So what has changed? And when will it be back... to normal??